Isn't it so weird? You find a person that catches your eye and you think, 'Yes, that one. I want that one to be one of my favourite humans that I will interact with a lot more than the rest of the humans I face'.
So, inspired by two of MY friends, Sammy and Savvy (I like to be matching in all things) who brought up the topic of having to pass a certain level of friendship with me to get certain aspects and things, it created this blog post about the different levels of friendship.
So when Sam and Sav joked about the levels of friendship that one must pass to gain certain bonuses, quests, and reveal unknown locations, I couldn't resist to delve and sift through each level and dissect them to their core.
Now, this might not be for all people, since everyone is different and has different backgrounds, so these levels are my own personal ones. Some people might be able to jump to best friend much earlier, while some others might only have one best friend level for only one person at a time. It's all about context and each person! I set my Levels to 10, since that gives the best range of my awkwardly transitional phases through different friendships.
Remember, this is different for EACH PERSON.
Level 1 can be sometimes the longest level too. In a social group, you might see each other continually but never actually talk to each other for months, or even years. you just know that person as so-and-so and that's about it. If it were a Hunger Games Scenario, this would be one of those people that you'd instantly choose for sacrifice without a second thought, because you clearly don't know them well enough.
Level 1 is exceptionally hard for the fact that you have NO CLUE what is socially acceptable to each person after you've gotten pass the whole awkward name exchange where, as soon as the person said their name was Blah, it's gone through one ear and out the other. If it was a secret code to defusing a bomb, you would have just sealed humanity's fate. You go through the list of small talk topics; Weather, 'What Do you Do', Observe-Anything-That-Is-Happening-Around-You, Compliments (But that can get into a vicious cycle of, 'Oh I love that of yours!' 'Oh thanks, I love that something too!' *Silence murders my soul and I lean back into the Earth's Atmosphere*
They say that within a tenth of a second, a first impression has already been made, and that longer exposure doesn't normally alter those impression later on in the friendship. That means you have a tenth of a second to either leave a good or bad taste in someone's mind of you. That level of pressure is crippling! What if in that tenth of a second, I stutter or trip over? What if I accidentally spit on them while I talk and we both know that we both saw it and now I'm dead on the inside?
Within a tenth of a second that can accurately judge you on your attractiveness, your trustworthiness, and and unrealistic amount of other things.
Level 1 is my least favourite out of all the different levels, and one of the hardest for me to finally vanquish by breaking that heavy layered ice by the weight of my awkwardness and humour. You're like a new pioneer, discovering new but dangerous areas that you have never seen before and you are assessing what is what, and what is what you like.
But...well...okay, now what? Oh gosh they've noticed me, we've made eye contact.
Should I go over and say hi? No, we don't know each other enough to warrant real conversation...but I should say something right? I can't just ignore them...OH NO THEY'RE WALKING TOWARDS ME ACT NATURAL - 'heeeeeeeeey....' oh. sweet. merciful. crap. I forgot their name.
Most people fall into the Acquaintance level for me. You see them all time, they might be people in your groups or in your classes or in your clubs, but you don't know them. They are faces that fill the crowd but are never definitive or distinct. You might have to awkwardly sit next to each other and talk to each other at some points, but it never quite makes it past the topics of weather, what you're currently up to, and observing whatever is going on around you. You don't know their social cues, you don't know their hobbies or what their family is like. It's an awkward sense of I don't know enough but I still know something.
Level 2 flings all social confidence out the window, and you're just left there with this pile of 'What do I do?'
Connection. Familiarity. It's all starting to come together now! There's none of these awkward breaks anymore or lulls in the conversation, a mutual interest or bonding thing has established, and things are rolling!
I find personally that Level 3 are the type that you organise to go and do fun stuff together where you aren't concerned about talking about your lives to each other. You just have fun together, maybe talk about your mutual interests. You'll see them at activities and your greeting won't be a moment where you have to coax yourself into doing it, but will be enjoyable.
These friends are the ones that, if someone were to ask you to take a quiz on this person, you'd fail in nearly every part that didn't somehow involve you in some way. They're the ones you can can just have a quick laugh with, but nothing too serious. You haven't emotionally invested in each other at all, but you are beginning to form a connection on a small level, one that is growing.
They might not be your first pick in a lot of things, but you know you can have fun with them and at least it's not like Level 2 anymore. YIKES. You can know drop the friend title on them, and know that they have your back for the minor things.
If you're like me, someone who doesn't share the most amount of physical affection, this is the level where I start to be a tiny bit more touchy. I'll give you a hug that last longer than 2 seconds The Good part of it starts coming from the fact that you're beginning to open up to this person, to reveal more of yourself to them.
If your friendship circle is quite an open one, allowing anyone to come in and out, it doesn't take long to get to this level.
It's a big step to introduce and integrate a new person into your group. BUT GOOD JOB! YOU'RE JUST FLYING THROUGH THESE LEVELS!
Physical affection has built, and you are more eager to hang out with each other. You sit together in your classes or clubs, and always have the stupidest look of happiness on your face when you see each other. It's beginning to develop into something special, and that's where the critical part lies.
My list of Close Friends is small, just like my inner circle. These are people who have gained my trust, and I have gained theirs, but spent time together too and have gotten to know each other more than you would a friend.
You know things about their family, their issues, and their little quirks. You know things like their favourite colour, or favourite meal. You would probably know enough to get about 40-50% of a friend quiz about them right, but it's not ALL the way there quite yet. But they are an amazing source to you of help and encouragement, and you can always have fun with them.
They like to act like Yoda, or give off the Old Soul vibe to explain how the just intuitively know what to do or not to do.
Sometimes these friends can become just your psychologist in a way, showing up whenever something is troubling you so that you can vent and get that weight off of your shoulders. These people are some of the best listeners and full of empathy. These are those who you tell all your secrets to, all your woes and struggles, and look to them for another opinion. They know you at your most vulnerable, and still accept you for who you are, weaknesses and all.
When someone goes from Close Friend to Counsellor, it's where the best of both worlds collide. Now you have the makings of a best friend! Though, it is possible to keep people in the Counsellor position and kind of abuse it sometimes, without ever realising that these people also have their own problems and struggles to deal with, but that listening to you and helping you makes them feel better, but it can be overwhelming at times. Cherish these friends and their wisdom!
You spend majority of your time with them, you have all these inside jokes now that just don't make sense because you just have too many, and you know each other like the back of your hands. You know about each other's continuing crushes on a whole array of people, you know even parts of them that you don't want to know. I personally believe that you can have more than one 'best friend', these people who can help you in a way that not many others can. They're the type that you choose to be your favourite people in the world. Those who make a change.
Normally, people would refer to it as their 'One True Best Friend' or the best friend that exceeds all the rest. They are your other half, they are practically the sibling that you were meant to get and like a lot more than your actual siblings. They understand every single part of you, and absolutely love the evil and lazy slob that you secretly are inside. They have seen you in every aspect of who you are; angry, depressed, extremely happy, obnoxious, all of it. There is no part that they haven't seen of you.
You've seen each other naked and are completely comfortable with that fact, and even joke about nudity all the time with each other. There is nothing off limits to you two. You're a hot mess match made in Heaven, and you both accept it for what it is.
What I find about my Soul Sister is that I am entirely comfortable with her. We can go out together and do fun activities, but we can also just sit on my bed and watch Netflix and eat skittles, sometimes not even talking to each other while we Reddit on our phones. It is the perfect arrangement of feeling safe in someone else's presence and not feeling like you have to be or do something else. You simply complete and compliment one another <3
I love my Soul Sister, Savannah!
You give so much in a relationship, and it's basically like your best friend that you get all these extra bonus levels with, like children, sharing all kinds of finances, all your problems become theirs and their problems become yours. It's a beautiful thing, and one that I find really special to me.
So, tell me
What is your levels of friendship? :)